Maria’s Story

The talks and news about russian troops around our borders began in January. The tension grew every day, especially during the second half of February. That was scary, though very little believed we would face a full-scale invasion. I planned my trip to Poland and bought tickets for the end of February in December. I wanted to visit several places there, and the prices were not as high as before Christmas. That should have been for a week and low-cost – so I did not even take a suitcase with me. Though the airplanes were still flying, I knew something would happen, and the majority were saying that that was just a show. However, I bought the essential food, medicine, and other things needed for evacuation. I had that packed at home, just in case. I had a rucksack with me (with clothes and a laptop for a week and several hundred zlotych – the currency of Poland). That was less than two days before the invasion.

When I landed, I had that feeling that something might happen. The same night, when I was 700 km from Ukraine, the President of Ukraine announced mobilization. The next day (and several weeks after), I spent reading the news. I did not sleep the following night, and at 4 AM, I read the line «путін напав на Україну» (Putin attacked Ukraine). I clearly remember a moment of shock. You cannot breathe, act or think. You read that simultaneously they started bombing airports around Ukraine. And the troops began marching in 4-5 regions also simultaneously. I called my mom – no answer, I called my cousin – no answer, granny – the same. I thought they blocked the connection. I cried, I trembled and I shivered. I tried calling again and again. I did not eat or drink. The world stopped. My country was at war, which is ongoing, absolutely barbaric, and genocidal. Several hours later, my mom picked up and said that the war had started and she was with my grandmother, and they were picking up stuff and food and seeking shelter in case of bombing. I clearly remember that I did not sleep the night after. I did not know what to do. After staying in Poland for two weeks (Poland became overcrowded, we visited shelters where we volunteered, bought food, and organized the van to Peremyshl), I had a chance to stay in Italy. It was temporarily, at least it should have been.

I returned to Ukraine at the beginning of April. The first air raid siren was scary. It seemed like it would target your place. So I went downstairs each time the siren was up and running. The city has changed. A lot of cars without glass and signs “Evacuation”, curfew after 8 PM, way more russian speaking people on the streets, military troops… Sirens. I spent one in a church when the sermon was there. That was a surreal experience – choir singing and sirens around the city. I am back here, with no relatives, no friends, no language (I started to learn it though it takes time), no plans… though there is a plan and I know for sure that I will be back home. I donate what I can, and I translate (as I’ve got a Master’s in Translation) the news and some lists of medication or any other materials, help, devices, whatnot is needed.

For the first time, I don’t know what it will be like tomorrow. I don’t know what the future holds. However, I am sure of Ukraine winning the war for freedom and my return. The times will be tough for my country. Extremely tough. Considering that nearly 800.000-900.000 people are without any shelter, 2.000.000 of them are deported by russia to its own territory. Can you imagine these numbers? Understanding that the south, east, and partially north of Ukraine are bombed, shelled and burnt… And it’s far from being over. Mass graves, raping with candles of a 6-month-old infant, raping women, cutting off genitals of POWs, stealing grain and steel, bombing cities around Ukraine to kill, to terror…

There is no place like home. If you are born where you are born – there is a reason for that. There is a reason why we are Ukrainians. There is a reason why we should have been dead, but we live. We survived so much – no other nation has ever faced. I could not believe there was such a possibility of full-scale barbaric war in 2022, 21 century… though now I believe anything can happen.

Though I am sure of our victory. Tertium non datur.