Julia’s Story

Where did the war meet you?

The war found me at home. Before the beginning, everyone spoke about the fact that it could happen, and everyone was expecting this 16th of February. We always scrolled through the news, worried. But when the invasion didn't happen on the 16th of February, we just relaxed a bit. We decided that it probably won't happen and this nightmare won't come true. I held back on packing any emergency suitcases. I didn't even think about it. I believed that if you're preparing for something, then it will inevitably happen. 

So I didn't pack at all, and when the war started, I remember that I was meant to have an English exam. I needed to wake up earlier, but for some reason, I didn't, and I was woken up by my husband. He told me a few times to stay calm and that everything was okay. At that point, I understood that something is wrong if someone is speaking in this manner to you. So then he says - the war has started. And for a while, I couldn't comprehend it. I thought, yes, the war had started, but it had started a long time ago, but when you are reading the news, you succumb to this feeling of horror and can't do anything about it. You just read it, worry, and fail to understand what to do next. 

And during this day, I finally packed that emergency suitcase and went to the supermarket to gather some food that was still available. When I stepped outside, it fully dawned on me that the war had started. I saw people, just like myself, in supermarkets and on the streets walking around, confused, not knowing what to do or how to prepare themselves. There were many cars resulting in traffic. Everyone was driving somewhere, uncertain of where they were going, where they should go, and where it would be safer. So the war started from this lack of understanding of what would happen next. No one expected that the invasion would span the whole territory of Ukraine. It's impossible to be prepared for this sort of thing. Even when I spoke with my friends who have been preparing for much longer, reading up on plans and military advice, they said it didn't really help in the end. They packed their emergency suitcases ahead of time, but nobody could predict what was needed from there. War is a very unpredictable thing. Even those people who were prepared, in actuality, weren't prepared for it mentally because a person continually strives to hope for the best. Even now, we're all hoping that in the next two weeks, two months, by the end of the year, by the beginning of Spring, it's going to end. We just need to wait a little longer, and it will all end. But not yet. At this point, we're still waiting. Still waiting and approaching our victory.

Was there a noticeable change in people? 

I think that there were definitely changes amongst the people. First of all, there were people, at least in my bubble, that didn't care. They didn't care about the threat or what language they were speaking. They said it was unimportant; the only important thing was what they did for this country. But many have gained the desire to speak Ukrainian because russian, at the moment, is evoking a sort of aggression. As if you are speaking the language of a violator, of a person who is violating you, how can you stand to speak that language?

And it's a unique situation because I'm from Zhaporizzha, and there are people in my circles who seemed 100% patriotic. But they didn't have the proper surroundings or any motivational event that would compel them to change to Ukrainian. However, today, even with mistakes and errors, they have changed languages because they say they simply can't continue to speak russian. They can't perceive it, can't watch the content they used to watch, and can't listen to that music. Similarly, people are now prepared to help, regardless of internal difficulties, donating the last of their money and just being very prepared to unite. There are also many occasions when people connect and approach a specific goal together but then conflicts arise. People working in the same field start to fight with each other. Unfortunately, this also exists. But at the same time, people from all different walks of life come together and build charity funds, gather money, and find equipment. More so, even foreigners who live in safe countries are ready to help. For example, in the first days of the war, my friends from Germany arrived in their car under the polish border to pick up Ukrainians, whom they housed in their apartments. And I was in shock because they acknowledged that we were in this situation and understood that if the war wasn't stopped in Ukraine today, it would reach their home tomorrow.

So most of all, people have changed. They sacrificed some of their pleasantries. At this point, people also aren't saving any money, but they are investing in our army and learning skills that they never thought of learning before. So people are helping and learning to live with the war during which your everyday life is suddenly quite challenging, and you can't predict your future. But what's most interesting is that russia is trying to somehow break people. But this whole situation is just making us angry, and people aren't prepared to retreat and go on any compromises or negotiations. So the people drastically changed, and hopefully, this won't disappear. Because very often, world history displays that a person surrounded by war and society is very active. For example, in the revolution of dignity, the activists were fighting for those changes, but people often got tired and wanted to relax, thinking that everything would fix itself as long as they stood at Maidan. But we need to understand that when the war ends, and we win, there will be long and painstaking work ahead of us. But people did change, and I am genuinely proud that we live in this community. I don't know how true it is, but some foreigners said that despite living in a great country with a very productive society, if they were in our shoes, they wouldn't be able to do what we do. So I think that Ukrainian society is incredible.

Do you think this proactive, productive thinking will continue in the next few years or post war?

Yes, I think that we haven't really had a chance to stop because, first of all, our soldiers - people who gave away their health, who gave away their most productive years, continue to be at war. We are obligated to be grateful to these people. So I think that most of all, the soldiers will not let the country stop. They will be controlling this and continuing to fight. Even now, when I read the news, I am still shocked at some of the new laws coming into effect regarding rebuilding Kyiv. People who are currently at war are offended that they stood up against this as an activist in the past, only so that today, during the war, they would adopt this completely untimely and unfair law. There is currently vast respect and support for the army and people who went to the frontlines, left their families and are fighting for our country. They will not stop and will inspire our civilians to continue the fight. Currently, the authority within our society is 100% with the army, so I hope the changes will continue. Of course, I'm sure that there will be some people who will need a rest and will step aside. Still, people have finally realised that this country won't be changed by anyone but themselves. No one will come and hand us anything, yes, we may receive some financial help for the rebuilding, but someone needs to supervise it. When the war ends, Ukraine won't just suddenly become Switzerland. To get to that level, we need to work, grow, study and gather experience. It's a long process, but I believe Ukraine will finally become a truly independent country.

What are your dreams for Ukraine after the end of the war?

I really want the war to end and for Ukraine to be victorious in regaining all of its territories. I also get really scared when I hear of Ukrainian losses and understand that these losses will be incredibly difficult. I would love it if we lost the least soldiers possible during this war. But yes, my very first dream is for Ukraine to win and for the army alliance to accept Ukraine into NATO. We shouldn't even expect any further security without this.

Regarding those dreams of russia falling or disintegrating, I only have one wish: to not think about them at all. I want to be completely indifferent to what they are doing. Whether it separated into 25 different countries or disappeared altogether. I understand that, unfortunately, we are very unlucky to share a border with this country. So one of our dreams is to be able to be completely disinterested in what's with it or who the president is. It's also very important for Ukraine that this country couldn't interact with us in any way. It would be great if our population was responsible for our own country. For rebuilding and voting, to finally understand that we need to put effort into this country. So there were no questions of what this country had given me, but what I was giving it? So that we live in peace and safety. That's the main thing.

But I think that with such talented people we have finally understood this and the country will develop. In a matter of years, we will be within the European Union, and those goals will be achieved. 

Considering that there is an informational front in this war, are there any harmful stereotypes that you come across regarding the russian invasion of Ukraine or Ukraine in general?

Yes, there is a fascinating myth about the nationalists. I'm repeatedly hearing it from many people, from Americans, from Europeans, and even from international delegates. And it's very strange to me because I never felt like there exists any extreme nationalism in Ukraine. For example, a few months ago, I was very surprised to read an interview of a Mariupopl resident who was interviewed by The Guardian. I think he was even a doctor? And he lived through the first few months of occupation in Mariupol. Everything was fairly written about his horrible experiences. However, in the end, he expressed his opinion, which is obviously spread to the whole world because it's a top-rated journal, he said something about the war not happening if Mariupol and Donetsk didn't force this nationalism. If they didn't sing Ukrainian songs, they weren't forced to participate in the anniversaries of UPA and Bandera. I was shocked, thinking of where there would be such celebrations in the Donetsk Oblast. Living in Ukraine, this is the first I'm hearing of it. Even living in the territory of Western Ukraine, I have never heard about someone somewhere forcing people to learn anything of the kind, especially not in Mariupol. So I find it really strange when similar propaganda is spread. Some people trying to understand this situation from outside Ukraine finds the narrative of Ukrainian nationalists very scary. There was even this story about a toy with a red and black flag. Someone was really grateful for humanitarian help but refused to take this toy because it was from the "nationalists". So this story about Ukrainian nationalism needs to be debunked. I think there needs to be more information because people misunderstand the context. It just shows that russian propaganda is working if Europeans are very scared of this. We need to be working on this front and spread accurate information, so people understand that there are no forced marches, ceremonies or flag raisings on the territory of Ukraine. That this is all propaganda. 

Is there anything else you would like to share?

Well, overall, every day here is very different. On Friday, there were mass missile attacks. I was texting my friends that are spread across the territory of Ukraine. You worry because you hear about explosions from people in Kyiv, from my parents who are in Zaporizhzhya, so you worry. But I hope that people, especially those who live in Ukraine, don't forget about the war so that they keep helping. It's psychologically challenging. Sometimes you want to start living your previous life. This lack of understanding and planning is very difficult, not knowing what will happen in the next month or year. Still, we must unite, work and remember that the war is ongoing. We all need to help financially by volunteering, spreading accurate information about Ukraine, or working together with international colleagues and friends and reminding them that the war is ongoing. Calling for help, spreading information, creating events, and helping people know and remember that our soldiers are still protecting our country and are still in a challenging situation. I want to wish Ukrainians determination and work ethic. We are all waiting for a miracle. Something which we don't expect and something that none of the military experts can promise us. But every morning when you wake up, you hope that maybe today something like that can happen. 

We are strong and resilient. A huge thank you to foreign friends who support us and help their governments understand that Ukraine is important enough to continue to provide weaponry and financial support. A huge thank you also to all the people who have housed Ukrainian refugees. And a huge thank you as well to Ukrainian soldiers who are doing incredible things and who have learned things that people spend years learning in action, who adapt to use new weaponry, and who commit heroic sacrifices. We are very grateful to them for every day and for the opportunity to spend these days with light and water.